Advice I am Grateful I Ignored
Advice-giving is an interesting thing. Some of us love to share our thoughts and advice. Some of us loath to receive it.
I always wished I had a mentor in my life. I had the privilege of mentoring many over the years, but I am sad to say that I have not had an official mentor to provide precious guidance-- or to be a sounding board. Perhaps I should have been more proactive in seeking one out.
As a licensed counselor and pastor, sometimes my advice was sought out. I'm uncertain if I hit the mark, but I shared my outlook when asked.
Other times, I provided my fair share of unsolicited thoughts, ideas, and views on a variety of topics. Sometimes overtly, but other times, subtly, veiled in plausible deniability. Shrewd nuances and hints. Well-placed silence. Body language. You know the drill. I bet you have done the same thing. We imagine ourselves as more refined and covert than we really are. People are on to us more than we like to imagine—and it repels them.
Crazy how much we withdraw from people we sense are inaudibly judging us—our ways, beliefs, and choices. We have not yet met a person who thrives from being judged. Ever.
On the other hand, there was some advice given to me over the years that I am so grateful to have ignored! Maybe I dismissed the suggestion because I was smug—or just stubborn. Either way, glad I did not bite.
The only person I've ever dated is my wife, Barb. We started dating during my first year of college. Many people told us to date around. They feared that we would regret it if we embraced our first serious relationship. We were told that we needed to explore all the options.
Many decades later, I’m still glad I ignored that unsolicited advice. Maybe it is valid for the masses—but that cookie-cutter advice did not work for us. Blah, blah, blah.
I remember when someone told me I needed to remove some “evil carving” that was in my office that I purchased it in another country. It could be possessed by a demon. It’s still on my shelf.
Or the time someone “had a word from the Lord” for me. I know they were sincere, good people, but I'm glad I didn't take their advice to heart. It certainly sounds spiritual to say you have a special message from the heavens-- and who wants to miss guidance from God himself, right? Personally, I think they just had indigestion from the local Mexican restaurant. It can happen to anyone. No foul, but I do feel sorry for God sometimes. He can get a bad rap. Fortunately, he doesn't need me to defend his rep.
