They have done the research. Fact-checked. Thought through all the angles. Perhaps they checked in with their all-knowing mentor, guru, pastor, priest, favorite podcast, Substack, or commentator. They have the corner on common sense.
Perhaps, they claim, they even prayed about it. Read it in the Holy Scriptures. Sometimes, they will tell you that God told them. Oohh, the God Card—designed to intimidate—and shut you up. Mic drop. Discussion over.
If we humbly place ourselves under the microscope of genuine honesty, we must acknowledge that we all have the temptation to think we are right on at least a few topics. I know I am guilty. If I didn't think I was right, I wouldn’t be writing The Pilgrimage. I have a platform, which requires me to proceed thoughtfully/humbly.
By now, I’m sure you are very aware that you are not going to change Mr. or Mrs. Right. All things being equal, they have probably been in this mode for quite some time, and they hang out with others who reinforce their thinking/bias/views/convictions.
We are drawn like a Star Trek tractor beam to people who think like us. Smell, vote, interpret the Scriptures, and eat sushi —like us.
This preference for people who think like us (or even contempt for those who don’t) has become increasingly apparent—it appears that we are currently in an extended season of over-correcting—what was once a bias or preference has become a divisive measuring stick for one another. Politics. Religion/church. Parenting styles. Demands can be needlessly shackled onto relationships—arguing the need for self-care or avoiding toxic relationships while using the guise of “boundaries” to create unnecessary walls. You get the gist.
So, what is your plan to maintain your sanity and emotional health? May I offer a few suggestions to help you maintain your all-important inner peace?
1. Determine right now that you will take the high road. Don’t stoop to a level of immaturity/argumentativeness that would normally embarrass you. You’re better than that.
2. Don’t take the bait. Some people just love to debate for the sake of debating. They get a high. Resist the urge to give them a hit of dopamine!
3. Practice the mind-numbing power of listening to them when you have the mental energy. Ask thoughtful questions. Consider their perspective. You don’t have to solve anything. Contemplate their point of view—even if they will not offer you the same courtesy.
4. Show respect—even when it must be unilateral. Jesus calls us to do what is not natural, especially when you are not being esteemed by the other person.
5. Consciously choose not to be a Mr. Right or Miss Right yourself! Pride and arrogance can be tricky to self-diagnose. Right?
For extra credit, meditate on the following: -
"Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him." Prov 26:4
- "If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet." Prov 29:9
- "Avoid foolish and ignorant controversies, for they breed quarrels." 2 Tim 2:23
- “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words.” Prov 23:9
To respond to any Pilgrimage devotional, you can email me directly at [email protected] |
